


P

by rabiddog



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Kurapika Needs a Hug, Kurapika angst, Leorio Needs a Hug, Leorio-Centric, Letters, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:29:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26691463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabiddog/pseuds/rabiddog
Summary: Leorio had never opened the letter that Kurapika had left him before, but that night he was feeling particularly reminiscent.
Relationships: Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 8
Kudos: 83





	P

Leorio's fingertips gently glided over the smooth glass covering his most sacred picture, a soft sigh tumbling over his lips as he reminisced. His whole heart ached for the blonde shown primarily in the image, beating as if it was only for Kurapika's ears to hear. 

The doctor's stomach gave a little lurch, and he gently set the frame back on his desk. No matter how much pain he'd gone through with losing Kurapika, he could never bring himself to get rid of the old photo. It was one of the only things that the Kurta had left him in the end. 

While Gon had gotten some handmade, traditional Kurta clothing, and Killua had gotten one of Kurapika's rather treasured earrings as a trinket, Leorio had been left with a picture of himself and Kurapika, and a hand-written note. He had yet to read it. He honestly didn't know if he had the guts to at this point. It'd been so long since Kurapika had left them that Leorio felt a little too guilty opening the letter after so much time had passed. 

He gave a sigh, rubbing his hands under his glasses for a moment before sitting up. He couldn't just keep putting it off, could he? Kurapika had left him a note for a reason, and there was no point in letting it sit and rot for however long else he decided to leave it. 

With one final breath, Leorio gently opened the letter up and began reading. 

_Mr. Leorio,_

_I don't know when you're going to get this, but I'd like to imagine that you're reading this before I've gone too far with Emperor's Time and lost myself again. I try not to; I swear I do, but it's so hard, Leorio. It's so hard to move on from what happened to my clan, to my family. What those monsters did to us is entirely unforgivable, and as much as I try, I just can't seem to let go of the past. It hurts, carrying it all around. It feels as if I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don't know how much further I can go if I'm honest._

_Sorry, I know I was rambling a little bit there, but I didn't want to leave anything out, you know? You don't deserve a short, barely developed piece. I want to give you my everything, Leorio. I want to open my heart for you; let you dissect each and every part of me._

_I've never really opened myself up like that before, not even to my parents or Pairo. They'd never had the chance to see that deep inside of me, though, I suppose (sometimes I wonder if they'd even want to know me after everything I've done). But you're different. It's always been different with you, ever since we met on that boat with Gon. There was something that drew me towards you, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to pull away no matter how hard I tried, at least entirely._

_Because I suppose I've pulled away now, haven't I? I've left you all alone with no means of contacting me back, and I'm so sorry about that. I don't think I could handle getting a letter back from you, as selfish as that may seem. I don't know If I'd be able to carry on with my mission of vengeance if I knew for sure that you were waiting for me to come back to you._

_I hope you aren't waiting for me, Leorio. Please don't do that. You're my everything, and you always will be, I realize that now, but please don't burden yourself with my problems and wait for me to come back. I can't even guarantee that I will be back at this point. I want you to move on with your life for me, alright? Fine a beautiful woman, have beautiful children, live a beautiful life. Make sure to look after Gon and Killua, no matter where they might be or what they might be doing. They'll always be children; you and I both know that._

_I miss them, too, honestly. I miss all three of you more than words can even begin to describe. The adventures we went on together will forever hold a special place in my heart. I regret not staying just a little longer to go on more with you. I'm sorry about that, too. I wish I could come back, but it's too late for me now._

_Emperor's Time has a rather nasty condition. I don't know if I'd ever mentioned it to you before, but 1 second of usage shaves away 1 hour of my lifespan. It's a lot, I know. I can already sense your anger rolling from you in waves. I didn't want it to be like this, I didn't want something to affect me this badly, but it was necessary. I had to stick to this condition, you understand, don't you?_

_I don't know how much time I have left anymore, Leorio, but I want you to know that I..._

Leorio hiccups at the break in the writing, his glasses pushed up so he can wipe at his red, puffy eyes. Droplets of water roll from his cheeks and hit the page he's gripping so tightly. (Leorio pretends like he doesn't see that the paper was already stained with old tear stains). 

_… I love you. I love you so much that it's almost all-consuming. Sometimes just the thought of you has my mind whirling and my body aching desperately for a touch from somebody that isn't there anymore. It hurts, but I know that this is the best for the both of us. You understand, don't you?_

_Perhaps one day, we'll meet again. I'd really like that._

_Forever yours,_

_Kurapika._

Leorio lets the paper drift from his fingertips and hit the table below. His hands are shaking, and his shoulders were quivering from the force of his silenced sobs. He couldn't understand how Kurapika could tell him all of this after disappearing from the face of the Earth. Leorio didn't even know where the Kurta was, but he couldn't just sit back while it sounded like Kurapika was dying. Or- had he already died? 

Leorio leaned forwards slightly, squeezing his hands into fists, and he shook his head. 

He'd find Kurapika, even if it were the last thing that he did.

**Author's Note:**

> CC: [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/rabiddogs)  
> Twitter: [Wilbyz](https://twitter.com/wiIbyz)


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